It usually freaks people out.
- I am a few steps closer to learning how to ollie. I need to spend more time with my board on that little bridge over Lake Merced.
- I miss my friend in Los Angeles. I should really give her a call.
- There has been no good surfing yet, and no good kiteboarding (for me at least). But, the summer is still young!
- I am actually looking forward to some self-taught review this summer in preparation for my organic chemistry class in the fall.
- I need to get my passport. I'm itching to get out of here with my best friend and partner by my side. Barcelona first.
- Will I ever finish Final Fantasy XII before XIII is released?!?!
I am literally only 12 pages in, yet Zimmer has already managed to make me catch my breath, clutch the book to my chest, and feel my eyes get a little moist from the emotional impact of it all.
You see, I find the most fascinating, beautiful, awe-inspiring, and spiritually uplifting experiences happen only when one is studying the world around them. This of course includes biology and microbiology, but also chemistry, physics, and even mathematics. Yes, I fall head over heels for scientific discovery. The study of bacteria happens to be one of my top interests, so picking up and reading Microcosm as soon as I could get my hands on it was a given.
In short, when I read about a young Joshua Lederberg writing "Hooray!" in the margin of his lab notebook when he discovered there truly was some sort of reproduction going on among E. coli, I practically leaped up with a "Hooray!" myself. Of course I already know all about the outcome of Lederberg's experiments along with the work of Tatum and Beadle -- nothing new there -- but it was the candid recounting of how a simple scientific discovery could produce such pure joy that made me appreciate I was reading about people who think like me: people who know that to truly live is to learn about and discover the world around them.
At least I didn't take it home with me.
When I was, oh, I don't know, 12? I scooted under our front porch belly first just to explore. I was hoping to find spiders or something but I hit upon the jackpot: a dead, practically mummified cat. I pulled it out and proudly displayed it as a trophy in my clubhouse. All the fur was long gone and the skin was pulled taught and leathery across the skeleton. Like the bike ride cat, one part of its chest cavity had been ripped open, but this was all dusty, dry bones -- no goopy bits to poke at.
I kept it along side my squirrel skull, hornets hive, birds nest, and various feathers, rocks and cicada skins. I think my mom finally found the stuff and threw it away.
- The Makes Nice
- rice krispie treats with chocolate chips and homemade dulce de leche
- my new bicycle and its white bar tape
- The Burgundy Loaf
- shiny petals on a buttercup
- skateboarding to get tart frozen yogurt (the only kind there should ever be!) in Berkeley
- moving past my fear of kiteboarding
- Ripley the sphinx cat at Borderlands
- The Big Lebowski at the Red Vic
- Charlie playing his fingers off at his show last Saturday
- getting tan
- quoth the T2 bacteriophage: "all your base are belong to us" (ok. so sue me, but i can explain. i've lately fantasized about creating my own snarky webcomic starring the steadfast E. coli and his fellow wacky microbal pals. dorky? well, for some, yes. but for me and my fellow biologists? no
I am completely obsessed with Metalocalypse. Skwisgaar and Toki are my new favorite cartoon crushes. The Dethklok theme is constantly running through my head. Charlie and I even find ourselves muttering "That's brutal" at times appropriate (um, like, ALL times...we are oh so metal!) or modulating the last word in any sentence with a deep, cookie-monster growl which proves what we have just intoned is indeed of great enormity.
So, we were a little late jumping on the Dethklok train (haha! That makes me think of "Bluesklok." See! Totally obsessed!): just last night we finished watching the finale of season one. Now we just have to keep TiVo ready to get all the second season episodes. Though I wouldn't mind re-watching all the first season episodes we already own, I crave more. More, I tell you!
I would like to go to this:
http://www.randi.org/joom/component/opti
It isn't until June and I will actually have a break from school.
Too bad it is in Las Vegas. What a deplorable place. Charlie and I once made a promise to each other that we would never go there if we didn't absolutely have to. This convention may be good enough to be the exception, I suppose. We'll have to see.
I love that we both generally hate the same things with the same amount of intensity. Although, I probably hate people who are clueless about bacteria more than he does and he probably hates people who are clueless about recording equipment more than I do.
I've been obsessed with finding good recipes for asparagus today. I have a bunch sitting on my kitchen counter and I want to do something tasty with it. I'm leaning towards a toasted barley and asparagus "risotto." I found the recipe on Epicurious: barley, butter, onion, garlic, veg broth, diced tomatoes, parmesan, arugula, lemon peel, and asparagus.
I found out Richard Dawkins is speaking at UC Berkeley and also at Stanford in two weeks. I want to go.
What a beautiful day! I'm sitting here at the office with the front door wide open...listening to The Fucking Champs (how did I go so long without ever listening to this band!?!)...I went running this morning, too. I'm so glad for these mild, sunny days. I can be alive and ride my bicycle again!
Speaking of bicycles, I have been wanting something better than my trusty single-speed for longer, more challenging rides. We've been shopping around, but there is really nothing that great under around $1200. So, Charlie and I have decided to build me a good road bike from the ground up instead of buying one! It will be less expensive and the learning experience is invaluable. I'm looking at cheap carbon frames & forks on eBay and I've already snagged a great package deal of Shimano Sora shifters, Tiagra derailleurs, crankset, wheels, stem, chain and cassettes. After all is said and done, I can have myself an excellent bike for about $500 less than I would spend on one in the store. Next stop: taking day trips down the coast! I hear Stanford has some wonderful rides, too.
Gorsh. I want something sweet with this coffee. Must...stop....from...going next door...to...eat....gross...yet...yummy..
how could i ever have lost you
when i loved you.
it took a long long long time
now i'm so happy i found you
how i love you
so many tears i was searching,
so many tears i was wasting, oh. oh -
now i can see you, be you
how can i ever misplace you
how i want you
oh i love you
you know that i need you.
oh i love you.
Charlie emailed me with the good news yesterday. He got us tickets to go see this on Sunday:
http://sfindie08.withoutabox.com/festiva
I used to re-enact this movie all the time as a kid. I, of course, played Indiana Jones. I think my childhood friend Jenny was the love interest, and my sister Natalie was various minor players. I'm pretty sure I made my little brother Ryan and perhaps some of his friends be the bad guys.
Jeez, I always gave Natalie the shit parts. No wonder she hates me now.
- Nutter Butter peanut butter creme wafer cookies
- having my cell phone found somewhere on the mountain...and it wasn't even crushed by skiers!
- old South Park episodes: Butters + Jimmy = my two favorite characters
- a neat lab book
- Charlie
- the fact that Charlie actually understands me
- the fact that I actually understand Charlie
- our mutual hatred of holidays and therefore our non-observance of them
- Tep's Villa Roma in South Lake Tahoe
- malted milk
- having my brother close enough that we can meet for pancakes
i want to know.
because then maybe i can keep myself from eating them?
Place: my desk, Glen Park, San Francisco, California.
Current mood: frustrated beyond all belief.
Current health: battling one very tough cold which seems to be mocking me. (and which explains current mood)
Current wants: Charlie to be home so we can eat dinner & more quiet time to study Organic Chemistry.
Current needs: to get over this shitstorm of a cold and its accompanying blister rash (yeah. that same rash i've been enduring on my right forearm and palms of my hands on and off since i was, like, 14. doing a little research, i *think* it may be a form of dyshidrotic dermatitis though i'm not a doctor. yuck!!!!)
Current music love: Os Mutantes. yes, i love them. maybe i should learn Portuguese...
Current hairdo: so i just got my haircut by Tina at Down at Lulus. for anyone in the SF/Oakland/Berkeley area, i highly recommend! It's such a perfect "Amy Jo" type of place. vintage clothing store in the front, hair salon in the back run by garage/punk legend Tina of the Bobbyteens. she knew exactly what i wanted: something kinda shaggy 70's-ish...kinda tomboy..but keeping the length. Charlie's been going there for years and his hair is always awesome.
Current highlight of recent past: going on a four day trip to Tahoe with Charlie in lieu of tolerating xmas with family.
crappy motel with magic fingers? check. beautiful views and mountain snow? check. hours and hours of snowboarding until we couldn't walk anymore? check. collapsing in our room to watch "blue planet'? check. 7-eleven hot chocolate with too many dehydrated mini-marshmallows? check. it was the best.
School is winding down. Even with all A's going into finals week, I'm still nervous I'll botch something somewhere. I don't know why I don't have full confidence in myself when it comes to school work, but maybe it's because I know (and for some reason accept) I have horrendous study habits. I still manage good grades but what I beat myself up over is knowing how much better I would be if I truly applied myself. I guess I'm just getting nervous to finally prove myself in a career. Will I have the gumption?
I'm looking out the window right now. The rain is gone! I can finally ride my bike again. Oh, my bicycle! I've missed you with your crappy paint job, your red-stripey tires, and your fast & sleek drop bars.
Something to add to my check list: buy good rain gear.
Jeez, there was A LOT I had to do today, but now it's all wasted! I'm going to miss another Physics class and a couple of quizzes in Biology. I have a check I was going to deposit so I could pay tuition. I needed to go to the transfer office to get a waiver for the chemistry prerequisite. I had a doctors appointment (completely unrelated to the back pain) that had to be canceled. And...no bike ride, of course. I feel gross and fat and crumpled and old.
Some days, I really can't stand having Yahoo mail. To get to my account, I have to sign in on through the Yahoo homepage which means I'm subjected to what Yahoo must consider the newsworthy headlines of the moment.
Um, yeah. These almost ALWAYS suck.
For example, most of the time these are stories about who did what on American Idol or "Five Ways To Make Your Man Jealous."
Drivel.
Well, today I saw a link to this story.....
Fucking Britney Spears is more newsworthy:
http://online.wsj.com/public/article/SB1
This is supposed to be a real story? Really? I'm seriously considering emailing Ms. Schaefer Munoz of the Wall Street Journal to simply say WTF? Would she write the same story (or would the WSJ publish it) if it were instead people burying disemboweled baby water buffalo to invoke the power of some Mesopotamian god to help them sell? What if people really truly believed that would help in this the "worst housing market in years"? What if the story were peppered with sage-sounding statements from respected and charismatic "authorities" on the success rate of baby water buffalo sacrifice?
Hrumph. I highly doubt it.
But what difference is there, really? (ok...besides the fact that they are burying plastic statues of little men instead of dead animals...but we're talking fundamentally here.)
This is another reason why I'm generally disgusted by the state of things in this country and its culture of accepting religion and hocus-pocus. Are we really all so stupid?
I mean, I remember when I used to get so emotional and so bent out of shape over things: from big things like being in debt to small, petty things like having the television on when I was trying to clean the house.
I remember feeling like my emotions were sometimes out of control. Raging hormones and all that crap. Jeez, this was up until only a few years ago, actually.
From these observations, I have come up with two hypotheses. (hypotheses that will most likely do no one any good, but will personally give me hours of fun rumination, nevertheless.)
1) The old idea that teenagers are the only age group that feel intense highs and lows and get very sensitive is simply not true. Instead, I think these emotional trends continue well into one's 20s and even until the early 30s. This is problematic because the old idea accepts that by the time one is 19-20, they are mature enough to do a number of things - from moving out and going to college to starting a career to even starting a family. No wonder there are so many clueless people out there! Societal pressures to start this so-called "adult" life at an age way too young is quite possibly the root of many difficulties. Think of all those unplanned pregnancies, repeat relationship failures, dead-end careers, and the dreaded "mid-life crises." Could these be avoided by a shift in our society's expectations of a fairly concrete timeline for maturation to one that is more flexible & forgiving...or one that pushes things back a decade or two? Ah, there is no quick and easy answer to that one.
2) Personally, the reason I don't let things bother me as much comes not only from maturity, but also because I am very content with my life and what I am doing with it at this present time. Through those really difficult times in my past, I've learned to let go of needless worries about my future or people around me. I've learned some other lessons, too: try to always be optimistic, good & responsible....don't try to change someone else....know who I am and what I stand for, but also learn to apply the power of subtle compromise. They're all related, really.
i had another one of those bad dreams last night. at least this time charlie didn't have shake me out of it. i hate that. i get them probably once every two weeks. i don't like to think i'm that insecure in our relationship, but i'm sure if i went to a shrink i would be told i'm still really scarred from the divorce. blech. i'm sick of this.
i don't feel too alive yet. i don't get my bike ride this morning - i have to walk so charlie can pick me up - and that usually fully invigorates me to start the day. at least on the walk i can get a coffee. my legs and feet are hurting a bit from the massive amounts of skateboarding we did over the weekend. since the swell was too crazy to attempt surfing, we happily replaced it with skateboarding. but, yeah, i'm feeling it.
lest this entry turns into one, giant gripe: we went out for sushi with jack & allison last night at moki's in bernal heights. edemame, papaya salad, and some other goofy, fancified rolls with things like unagi and macadamia nuts and mangoes and shit. very good.
I'm reading over some entries and not liking what I see. I can't believe I ever worried about some of those things!
Or would it take away from some sort of authenticity...some sort of real picture of "Amy Jo" and what I was feeling at the time?
I think I've written something similar to this very entry before. Huh.
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